Burlesque: A poorly reheated movie musical

Written by Mark Schumann, Father of Three
Thursday, 10 March 2011 11:24

With the Oscars history for one more year, we now enter “the slow movie spring” with fewer new films opening before the summer blockbusters begin to appear. That leaves us to choose DVDs, new and classic, to create nutritious movie menus for our families. This week The Reel Dad looks at a film just released on DVD, Burlesque.

Any of us who love movie musicals give up a certain connection to reality so we can savor the entertainment. After all, what is the likelihood that gangs actually sing their way through New York City as in West Side Story? Or that postulants make play clothes out of drapes as in The Sound of Music? When we watch musicals we let ourselves believe in the worlds they create so we can fully enjoy the joy they offer.

The new would-be musical Burlesque, however, is a challenge for even the most committed viewer. This mess-of-a-movie tells the story of Ali (played by Christina Aguilera), a young woman who, one day, leaves her job as a waitress in Iowa, boards a bus for Los Angeles, and wanders into a burlesque club on Sunset Strip just in time for Tess (played by Cher) to sing a forgettable opening number, “Welcome to Burlesque.” Ali wants to be a star and believes this is the stage for her, so she quickly puts her waitressing skills to work while waiting for her big break. This is, after all, a musical, and the screenwriter has obviously seen A Star Is Born, Gypsy and Funny Girl — as well every other musical about someone who wants to be a star — more than once.

Soon we learn that, while Tess may be a dynamic singer (remember that opening number), she is not much of a businesswoman and may lose the club for failing to pay the mortgage. Tess needs one great performer to bring back the crowds and, because this is a musical, accidentally discovers that Ali has a sensational voice, makes her a star, and believes her problems are solved. But are they? Will Ali stay at the club or fall prey to the advances of the smarmy condo developer? Or will she believe in the bartender who wants to be a songwriter? And do we care?

Burlesque reheats every cliché from 1940s MGM musicals along with what effectively worked in other films. But it borrows without taste or talent. Its musical numbers directly copy Bob Fosse’s Oscar-winning look and feel for Cabaret and Rob Marshall’s approach to the Oscar-winning Chicago. The backstage drama is lifted directly from Fosse’s Sweet Charity and Doris Day’s Love Me Or Leave Me. There is not an original moment. Everything comes from somewhere else.

As for the cast, Aguilera certainly can sing and, because this is a movie, she lip-syncs the correct lyrics. But she is not an actress and displays none of the musical vitality such a film demands. Cher is wasted in her role, given too little to do, and only performs one song that has any chance of working. Sadly, she sleep-walks through the rest of the performance, tossing one liners without effort, and never offering a glimpse of an Oscar-winning actress who once had a strong film career.

There’s no reason to rent Burlesque no matter how few new films are available at the theaters. Instead, rent the classic musicals it borrows from, suspend reality for a couple of hours, and enjoy what real musicals offer.

Film Nutritional Value:

Burlesque

* Content: Low. The minute that Ali gets on the bus for Los Angeles, we know we’re in for a disappointing story.

* Entertainment: Low. Even when Aguilar sings she brings none of the joy of performing that a musical demands.

* Message: Low. The only message of Burlesque is to beware of condo developers who understand air rights in big cities.

* Relevance: Low. Burlesque is irrelevant on every level, as a tribute to its art form, as an entertainment, as a movie comeback for Cher.

* Opportunity for Dialogue: Low. There’s no reason to share this movie with your family. Play a board game instead.

(Burlesque is rated PG-13 for some sexual content including suggestive dance routines, partial nudity, language and some thematic material. The film runs 119 minutes.)

1 Popcorn Bucket