Lying and denying to get what they want

Written by Joe Pisani
Wednesday, 16 November 2011 00:00

I was discussing life on Planet Earth with a friend who worked on many political campaigns, when we turned our attention to the scandal enveloping a candidate accused of sexual misdeeds, which he vigorously and fervently and categorically denied in the time-honored tradition of everyone from John Edwards and Bill Clinton to Dominique Strauss-Kahn and Silvio Berlusconi.

“What do you think?” I asked.

He sighed and said, “They never tell the truth.”

It was an observation based on a lifetime of disappointment.

Sad to say, politicians in the throes of a scandal usually pretend they don’t know the truth or they conveniently forgot the truth or they scratch their heads in metaphysical bemusement and like Socrates ask, “What is truth?”

We want to believe our political leaders and give them the benefit of the doubt, but time after time the same scenario unfolds with the same litany of responses: “I never did that!” “I didn’t know that happened!” “Impossible!” “Gimme my Bible!”

Inevitably, the impossible becomes possible, and they stretch the truth or bend the truth or ignore the truth or blame someone else for the truth, such as a self-promoting accuser, the liberal media or the vast right wing conspiracy.

Telling the truth isn’t easy, and what used to come naturally for past generations has become a major challenge in our enlightened era. Now, when people get caught lying, they deny it until the evidence proves them wrong ... and then they still deny it. Truth, it seems, is an elastic thing.

We probably shouldn’t hold our leaders to a higher standard than the rest of us, but why do we have to hold them to a lower standard? We’re deluded by partisanship and often dismiss our candidate’s lies and indiscretions with the flimsy rationalization that “Everyone does it.”

Americans have become so jaded that when we hear these stories, there’s a presumption of guilt followed by an indifferent shrug.

I can understand the pressure that politicians face. I was president of my junior class and didn’t date for a year to avoid the hint of scandal. Well, actually, I was a bit nerdy and couldn’t get a date — until I became president. However, I know from personal experience that telling the truth is difficult, which is why I won’t run for public office. If the media ever discovered the times I’ve lied, my candidacy would be doomed before my first appearance on Bill O’Reilly, not to mention Sesame Street:

Wifey: “Did you get gas for the lawnmower?”

Me: “Yes.”

Wifey: “Did you cut the grass?”

Me: “Yes.”

Wifey: “Why is it so #%!*!$& long?”

Me: “Yes ... I mean, would you repeat the question?”

Or:

Wifey: What’s this credit card charge for Orvis?”

Me: “Hmmm. It must be a mistake.”

“I saw a new fishing pole in your closet.”

“That’s not a fishing pole. It’s a rake. I’m going to rake the yard now that I’ve cut the lawn.”

Even though I could never be president, there’s an opening in the parks department, and I’m convinced I’d be the perfect candidate, considering my landscaping skills.

Joe Pisani can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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