Craving peace while getting stuff

Written by Joe Pisani
Tuesday, 15 December 2009 10:01

Every December for 40 years, we asked my father, “What do you want for Christmas, Dad?” and every December for 40 years he promptly responded, “Peace and quiet.”

He said he had everything he needed and didn’t need anything else. No shirts, no sweaters, no tools, no toys. “Save your money,” he advised us.

Sooner or later, we all reach that self-satisfied stage in life — sort of like materialistic Nirvana — but I’m not there yet, which means to say I’ve already sent my two-page list to Santa, and he better deliver ... or else.

Our family generally viewed my father’s holiday sarcasm as the eccentric behavior of a 20th century Scrooge. It was his cranky way of telling us, “Keep it quiet while I’m doing my crossword puzzles” or “Make sure those noisy grandkids don’t visit too long” or “Stop nagging me.”

Needless to say, life’s normal assortment of situations and circumstances could easily disrupt the old man’s so-called “peace and quiet.”

With the passing of years, I, too, have come to crave that elusive state of mind and soul called “peace.” (I know I’ll never get the “quiet.”)

At this time of year, I’m convinced we all could use a little more peace, which is a rare commodity in a world where everyone is screaming and speeding and insulting and complaining.

While I was driving down I-95 on Saturday afternoon, I was mesmerized by the cars whizzing past, cutting people off, and weaving in and out without signaling. No peace on Earth on I-95.

Then, at the mall, two women were about to start ninja fighting over a parking space, while there was a near-riot inside when shoppers started to stampede toward the sales items like buffalo rampaging across the Great Plains.

The people who rush from bars to parties to boutiques and back again don’t even realize something is missing in their lives because they’re too preoccupied with looking for success, sales, easy sex, a hot car, a hot date, a hot outfit and all the other entrapments of our hedonistic society. No peace on Earth there.

The true meaning of Christmas isn’t lost because of the commercialism; it’s lost because we’re too busy pursuing self-gratification.

You know peace is in short supply when you see people looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. The funny thing about peace is you can’t buy it, borrow it or steal it. But you have to want it, and my father did.

Even though he told us not to give him gifts, we would buy shirts, slacks, socks and sweaters, partly out of desperation because he had to have some presents under the Christmas tree. When he died, we found many of those gifts still in their wrapping paper in the back of his closet.

I guess he was telling the truth when he said he didn’t need anything. My hunch is that he also had the peace the world can’t give. And it was such a good thing, he wanted more.

Joe Pisani can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

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