Obsession with looks starts early

Written by Joe Pisani
Wednesday, 20 April 2011 00:00

When we reach the great divide known as middle-age, we often start spending our retirement savings and grocery money on Botox injections, secret-formula skin creams and teeth-whitening. We suck in the paunch, color the gray hair and schedule laser treatments.

In a culture that glorifies good looks and youth, middle-age can be a demoralizing time of life, but more people are fighting back now that the Baby Boomers are plodding into their senior years.

Seven middle-aged waitresses recently filed a discrimination suit against an Atlantic City hotel, alleging “lookism,” which is discrimination based on physical appearances.

If you didn’t get the promotion because someone prettier did, or if your pay was frozen because you lost your front teeth in a barroom brawl, you are a possible victim of “lookism.” Consult your attorney for further details.

The cocktail waitresses claim they were fired because younger women looked more enticing in the skimpy Roaring ‘20s outfits the resort made them wear. Fifteen women got canned after auditioning for their jobs with a modeling agency, which conducted an “evaluation process” somewhat like the Miss America swimsuit competition.

I believe physical appearance is essential to success, which is why I shave and brush my teeth regularly. Some people, however, go to extremes, like the 55-year-old British woman who holds the world’s record for plastic surgery and spent more than $100,000 for 52 cosmetic procedures, including 14 major operations, five face-lifts and Botox injections. The good news is she single-handedly kept the British economy from collapsing during the worst recession since World War II.

Obsession with looks starts at an early age. The cutest toddlers get the most attention at day care, while cheerleaders snare the best-looking guys. But years later when they go to the class reunions, people whisper, “OMG, what happened to her?” or “Why is she still sucking that pacifier?”

Good looks can be more profitable than stock in Berkshire Hathaway. During a recession, you can land a job at Hooters or line up free dates all week. A British study found that less-attractive women were more willing to help pay the bill on a date, while the so-called hot women didn’t think they should pay anything.

Researchers at the University of St. Andrews — I hope government grants didn’t fund this study — said the “lookers” expected men, preferably rich, handsome men, to pick up the tab.

A study by the University of Texas — I hope a government grant didn’t pay for this study — did an analysis of data in America, Canada, Germany and Britain and concluded beautiful people are happier than ugly people and usually richer.

I’d like someone to do a study — funded by the government in cooperation with the entertainment industry — that takes a hard look at celebrities who go downhill with age. The sweetest revenge is to see photos of famous people who had it all until they started to fall apart. When wrinkles and weight catch up with them, they become like the rest of us mortals and we have the nasty pleasure of gasping, “OMG, what happened to them?”

Joe Pisani can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .