May 15, 2008
Briefing Book
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Tonight on Larry King
CNN TRANSCRIPT
MAY 15, 2008
LARRY KING: Back again with Jeff Morris and J.D. Piro. Jeff, you were saying?
JEFF MORRIS: Larry, it’s surprisingly easy for a fire to start inside the wall and ignite the frame of the house. Without a sprinkler system, the whole house goes up like, well, like a pile of dry wood.
LK: And there go the wetlands! So you support sprinklers, J.D.?
J.D. PIRO: No, Larry, I don’t. Again, I’m not in favor of having a house burn down but —
LK: What about protecting the wetlands? I mean, the whole house up in smoke! Whoosh! Like a pile of dry wood!
JDP: Larry, it’s a treehouse! It is a pile of dry wood!
JM: I think somebody is getting a bit defensive, don’t you Larry?
JDP: Jeff, will you stop it with that “somebody” nonsense? Everybody knows who —
JM: And somebody hasn’t answered the question about how somebody would
protect the wetlands from a defective oil tank, because —
JDP: Jeff, treehouses don’t have oil tanks!
JM: We’re all downstream from somebody, Larry.
JDP: Will you stop that?
LK: Waccabuc, New York, hello!
CALLER: Great show, Larry! I’d like to ask Mr. Piro how he can possibly oppose our Planning Board’s sensible new proposal for user-friendly building regulations?
LK: Whaddaya think, J.D.? Planning Board had some good ideas last night! Gotta be constructive!
JDP: Well, Larry, I still don’t see how putting a handicapped-accessible elevator in a treehouse will protect anything.
LK: So that’s a no?
JDP: Larry, it’s not a question of —
LK: Even in a wetland? You’d take that chance?
JDP: Again, Larry, they might be over-regulating just a tad.
LK: Jeff?
JM: It’s for the children, Larry. I guess somebody thinks that makes me an extremist.
LK: He’s got a point, J.D. Tough to get into those treehouses. I mean, the knotted ropes and all.
JDP: That’s kind of why kids like them.
LK: What about rope burns? Jeff, that’s a big problem for kids!
JM: Correct, Larry, but it wouldn’t be if George Bush covered all our children under a national health insurance system.
LK: J.D., how ’bout it? You’d cover the kids? Women and children first, right?
JDP: That’s lifeboats, Larry. But rope burns? Whatever happened to Band-Aids and Bactine?
JM: Sure, Larry, if you’re rich, Band-Aids and Bactine are no problem. But what about the other 99% of Americans? Of course, that’s what we think on my side of the page. But the current health care system is just dandy, at least that’s what somebody thinks —
JDP: WILL YOU KNOCK THAT OFF!
JM: Did you hear somebody say something, Larry?
JDP: Oh, for the love of —
LK: Monday night, Phyllis Diller! Right here! Taking your questions! Vista, New York, hello!
CALLER: Hey, man, is this the school board? I want my $5 million back!
VOICE IN BACKGROUND: The rug, Dude! Tell ’em about the rug!
CALLER: Thanks, Walter! Yeah, the rug really tied the room toge—
LK: Katonah, New York, hello!
CALLER: Hello?
LK: Hello, Katonah! What’s your question, ma’am?
CALLER: Yes, I’d like to ask your guests about telecommuting in Lewisboro. Do they think that the town supervisor should let — OK, suppose you had a full-time town employee with an outstanding record of public service — let’s say eight long years as a dedicated Town Board member — should that selfless individual be allowed to use the Internet like millions of other hard-working Americans and telecommute to the town house—
LK: Good question, caller—
CALLER: No, wait! And still qualify for free lifetime retiree medical benefits?
LK: What about it, guys? Telecommuting, I hear that’s big now!
JM: It is, Larry. I work from home a lot and I find it very useful. I didn’t know that I qualified for free health care, though. Is there a deductible?
LK: J.D., what about it? I mean, when you telecommute, you go the whole nine yards, right? Jammies, the fluffy bunny feet, hot cocoa?
JDP: Of course, Larry. But it really depends on the quality of your Internet service. Personally, when I pretend to work from home, I find it much easier to catch up on important things.
LK: Like what?
JDP: Drudge Report. Guitar Hero. Finding out where Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is playing.
JM: And at home, Larry, there’s no problem with that annoying Web filter at the Town House that won’t let you read The Huffington Post.
LK: We gotta go to commercial! Tomorrow night, Clay Aiken for the full hour!
© Copyright 2008 by Hersam Acorn Newspapers
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