Wilton Bulletin
Home is Where the Heart Is raises more than $40,000 for veterans

Feb 7, 2008

Marias-Cuomo Cole speaks to the crowd at the Home is Where the Heart is benefit for homeless veterans. The event, organized by Shalini Madaras and Nancy Pantoliano of Wilton was held in a New Canaan home and raised more than $40,000. %u2014Scott Mullin photos

Ms. Madaras greets 1st Lt. Zach Alessi-Friedlander, an Iraq War veteran.

The dangers of active military duty should end once a soldier returns home. For too many, however, a new battle — that of reintegration into civilian life — begins once he or she touches American soil.

“People are sending care packages and things to the soldiers over there,” said Wilton resident Shalini Madaras, who’s son, Pfc. Nicholas Madaras was killed in Iraq in September 2006. “That’s fine and that’s great, but there’s a lot that they come back with that you don’t realize.”

More difficult to diagnose than their physical counterparts, psychological and emotional war wounds can make maintaining a job or personal relationships impossible for some veterans. Additionally, many find their skill sets do not easily translate into the working world.

Both factors have financial ramifications and make for a grave statistic, said John Wiltse, deputy commissioner of the Connecticut Department of Veterans Affairs.

“On any given night, somewhere between 25 and 30 percent of the homeless citizens in Connecticut may have served honorably in the United States military.”

Charles Grodin and David Canary of Wilton take a moment to catch up at the benefit. Mr. Grodin was one of the emcee's at the event.

According to the Department of Veterans Affairs, 200,000 adult veterans nationwide live on the streets or in shelters everyday. Double that number are homeless at some point each year.

Ms. Madaras and fellow Wilton resident Nancy Pantoliano believe American veterans deserve more.

Along with HELP USA, which provides housing, jobs and other services to the homeless, an army of volunteers and a bit of star power, the two friends transformed the $3,750,000 David Anspach custom home at 116 Juniper Road in New Canaan into a Valentine’s-themed funhouse Saturday, Feb. 2.

The “Home Is Where the Heart Is Valentine’s Soiree,” replete with psychics, relationship consultants, lingerie-clad freeze models and lots of champagne raised more than $40,000 for HELP USA’s homeless veterans’ housing initiative, which will expand by 58 percent in 2008. Its newest phase in Las Vegas will be dedicated to Pfc. Madaras.

The benefit, which also raised spirits with elaborate hors d’oeuvres, extravagant raffle prizes and live music by pianist Al Galletly of Wilton, was emceed by actors Charles Grodin and Joe Pantoliano, also Wilton residents.

“I’m really proud of my wife, Nancy,” said Mr. Pantoliano, who admitted having little to do with the organization of the event but emphasized its importance, given the waning popularity of the war in Iraq.

“This war is no longer sexy so it’s no longer on the front pages,” he said, but veterans, “are leaving legs behind and coming home with emotional wounds so dramatic.”

Special guest U.S. Army Lt. Zach Alessi-Frielander of Wilton, who served 15 months in the farmlands south of Baghdad, agreed that veterans can’t be forgotten.

“It’s alarming,” he said of the number of soldiers who are homeless. “As a country we need to provide them with a safety net.”

Though he called the event’s turnout — some 200 people at $150 to $250 per ticket — “remarkable,” he said the real challenge was “sustaining that support, and remembering them in a decade.”

Chief Warrant Officer Philip Reeves of the Massachusetts National Guard returned to Wilton from a tour of Iraq in 2006. He told those at Saturday’s event he didn’t know the extent of the veterans’ homelessness crisis, but would gladly support any initiative to “help the people who kind of slide through the cracks.”

“I was very fortunate to come back to a very stable family with no financial worries,” he said, acknowledging those less fortunate, as well as his own readjustment to family life.

“In the military, the demands on you are very stark and rigorous. But in a lot of ways, it’s way easier than being a dad.”

In the Barcelona room, catered by Barcelona Restaurants, server Fabio Teixeira said he was happy to offer his time in support of veterans.

“This is such an insignificant act compared to what they do for us,” he said over pitchers of sangria and mojitos. “They’re the ones that are seeing the memories. Let’s not be shy about it. This is very painful for them.”

Ms. Madaras was not shy as she discussed the support she’d received since September, when she and Ms. Pantoliano began planning the event.

“It’s just been unbelievable,” she said. “We have donations coming in from services. People are calling and asking if they can help.”

Though this year’s event is over, Ms. Madaras and Ms. Pantoliano plan to make it an annual event around Valentine’s Day.

“The heart, home, love, all of that,” Ms. Madaras said of rationale behind the event’s timing. “It kind of brings the spirit of it out.”

Until next year, donations to HELP USA’s veterans’ housing initiative can be made at helpusa.org. Donors should indicate that their contribution is for the veteran’s housing initiative.

© Copyright 2008 by Hersam Acorn Newspapers